Live from Olympus
by sumrsilentmusic
Summary: Today on Live from Olympus: Athena and Poseidon bicker over who has the best demigod child while Percy and Annabeth try to keep alive. With cameos from most of your  other  favorite gods.


_A/N: I got the idea for this one shot while re-reading _The Lightening Thief_, and on page 241, Percy wonders if their ratings were any good. I'd say they were ;)_

"POSEEEIIIIIDON! POSEIIIIDOOOON!" The goddess of wisdom wasn't exactly acting very wisely or rationally as of right now. She bellowed until a cloud of mist appeared next to her.

"Yes, Athena?" Poseidon answered rather dryly, "You know, I could hear you all the way from the bottom of the Indian Ocean."

Athena ignored his imbecilic insult and jabbed her finger at the plasma TV in the middle of room. "Could you explain to me why _your_ dim-witted son is anywhere _near_ my daughter?"

Indeed, Percy and Annabeth were together, and it looked like they were on some ride full of hearts and cupids. (The real cupid doesn't wear diapers, nor does he have bows with heart-shaped arrow tips. Mortals these days.)

"I'm sorry, but from my understanding, your precious daughter _volunteered_ to go on this quest." Poseidon narrowed his eyes, "And my son isn't a dim-wit. It's not like he needs Annabeth; he was probably just trying to be nice, allowing her to come with him on her first-ever quest."

"Oh, please. Without Annabeth, your seaweed-brained kid would have been a collector's item in Medusa's garden! She'd probably be fawning over him and making out with his chiseled face, pretending it was you!"

"Athena, please. Don't make her out to be a pedophile. That's disturbing. And I can't believe you're so petty. It was millenniums ago!"

"How _dare_ you! I'm not being petty. That was—"

"Shhhhh! Your bickering is ruining the moment." Aphrodite was sitting in front of the TV with a bucket of popcorn. "Awwwww, he just buckled her seat belt for her. How cute is that?" Poseidon and Athena both looked around the room; apparently, they had gained an audience. Hephaestus, Ares, and Apollo had all decided to join them. Poseidon and Athena were quite entertaining when they were going at it with each other.

Athena focused her gaze on Hephaestus and glared at him. "Would you care to explain this situation?"

"Hey! Why are you accusing me?" Hephaestus tried to play innocent.

"Well, let's see. _Someone_ managed to wire cameras live to Olympus. _Someone_ made a net that looks suspiciously like the one that caught Aphrodite and Ares the last time they were at it. And you're in the same room as your wife, yet you're not all over her, obeying her every wish."

"I'm _not_ a push over!" Hephaestus protested indignantly.

"Honey, I hate to say this, but you kind of are," Aphrodite piped up. "You know I only married you because you offered to come home late and make me jewelry."

"Shut up. It should be you on that screen with lover boy suffering from humiliation."

"Someone call my name?" Eros appeared in a swirl of glitter and pink confetti. _Hm, maybe the humans weren't that off with the hearts_,Poseidon thought.

Ares smirked from his spot behind Aphrodite, "You can be as jealous as you want, ugly, but my son here shows just who your wife wants to warm the bed with."

Aphrodite pelted popcorn at both of them. "Play nice you two. Your macho possessiveness is sweet but totally ruining the moment—OH! Look they're holding hands while facing their imminent death! This is better than a romantic comedy!"

Poseidon and Athena's heads both swiveled to the screen at the exact same moment.

"Now look. You're stupid kid is going to get my daughter killed! Just great."

"Would you just shut up and watch for a moment? For the goddess of wisdom, you can be so dense sometimes. They're not dying. Percy has a plan that'll get them out of this alive." The room fell silent for a moment (finally) as all the gods focused intently on the screen. The tension in the room rose as they all held their breath, waiting.

"You trust his plans?" Athena screeched, disrupting the quiet, "If they'd jumped when he told her to, they would have been flattened on the gates by now, and I'd have to pick pieces of my daughter's remains out of the water."

"Well, it's not as if Annabeth got them out unscathed. They would have been patties on the asphalt if it wasn't for the flying satyr."

"Poseidon, don't be dramatic. The most they would have gotten was a couple broken bones." Athena winced as Percy landed on top of Annabeth, "And you're cow-of-a-son is crushing my daughter right now!"

The gods laughed as Percy, on screen, shouted, "Show's over! Thank you! Good night!"

"At least my son has a sense of humor!"

"Aw, well, you know what would have been a perfect ending to this?" Aphrodite always commented at the most inappropriate times. "Percy should have helped Annabeth up—"

"Yeah, Poseidon, what ever happened to teaching your kid to be chivalrous and polite?" Athena mumbled.

"—And then, held her close, and kissed her!" Aphrodite clapped her hands with glee.

"No!" they both shouted together, glaring at Aphrodite.

"Well, at least they agree on something," Apollo grumbled.

"My daughter is _way_ too good for your idiotic son. Her clever strategies would probably leave his head spinning more than his sword. "

"My son is too courageous for the likes of her. He was planning a way to keep them alive, while she was just screaming. About spiders. _Spiders!_ Those are virtually harmless! In fact, they're good for the environment."

As they kept arguing, Aphrodite smirked and thought about how amusing it would be to actually make their children fall in love.

Athena caught her mischievous expression from her peripheral vision and glared at her. "Don't get any funny ideas now, Aphrodite."

"Stay out of our children's love lives," Poseidon warned.

"Oh, of course not," Aphrodite replied in a sugar sweet voice. But behind her back, she crossed her fingers, and Ares was the only one who saw.


End file.
